Critic for a day

Let me guess, you want to write me an e-mail and tell me how much you would love to do what I do, how cool it would be to eat all this candy and try things only some people would imagine. Well for the most part your right, this is not a bad racket, but with the good comes the bad. The bad in this case is the awesome risk you take biting into something that you can't even read the package for, or eating something with a character on it that would be better off dead than the state he's in. You're not the only people who say this, my "real friends" say this to me all the time. They tell me how much they would love to do a review and how great it must be. Sometimes I let my friends review treats with me and they always want to review their already favourite treats and they never go out on a limb.

Revenge is a dish better served cold, man that's a dumb expression, but it works. So today I'm calling some of my buddies out and the challenge will begin. This is how it works. Each contestant picks the name of a candy out of a hat. Then they must eat the treat and write a single sentence about what's going through their minds. If a contestant refuses a candy or spits it out before their next turn, they are out and will forever be branded a 'wuss'. So let the game begin.

Contestants

Morgan

What can I say about Morgan. He keeps telling me that he doesn't eat that many sweets, but he's the first to grab any new treats I might offer. Why do I think he's great for this contest. Well he's got an opinion, and for the love of god he'll let everybody know them. Morgan's opinion is not always mind but your guaranteed that it's real, because he's very thorough.

Sam

Well Sam is a contestant because he fits the bill of the classic Candy Critic wannabe. He tells me how much he would love to eat candy like I do, and he too asked to do a review. Just like the many other people that ask to do reviews he asked to do a review of his favourite treat (the Mr.Big). So here you go Sam now your doing what I do, see how you like it.

Frank

Frank was a late entry and he's a sure candy fanatic. Why did I ask him to participate? Well, Frank's a good guy and to be honest he was around so I thought he would make a perfect contestant.

Chris (That's me by the way)

At first I thought I would not participate in this game only because I have nothing to prove. I know I can taste odd candies, and I've proven it over and over again. What changed my mind? Well these guys accused me of wimping out and brother I ain't going out like that.

Round 01

"Hint of sweet but mostly sour juice."

"Me like. Mouth tingling! Like macaroon... on acid"

"Where's the sour? Sour drool.!!"

"Nice and fruity with a sour taste."

Round 02

"Initially Spicy

- takes a second to kick in, then gets sweeter, raspberry."

"Gotta love Japanese candy... like a rainbow in my mouth!... But a Japanese rainbow... Made out of yogurt."

"Instant heartburn. Quickly loses its zing and becomes typical candy (lemon)"

"Sour at first, but mmm mmm fruit later."

Round 03

"Fruit Chew

- like Starburst"

"Yumsters in my tumster."

"Strong but brief initial kick. (Raspberry)"

"Although minty it has some kind of crazy chalky taste too."

Round 04

"Very Spicy

- Cherry does not get sweet, stays spicy"

"(oh yeah... you can eat it!) Still a rainbow!"

"Hot Orange sucker (tangerine)"

"Still minty"

Round 05

"Very soft gummy with good grape flavour."

"OK... I've had 5 really good candies in a row and now I'm really getting worried something is going to go wrong. (Frankie is beside me and he got like, 4 Torture Scorchers... I'm scared)."

"(Cherry) Little scorch by the 4th time around."

"It seems to have more of a grape juice taste than any real grape."

Round 06

"Wants to be fruity (orange) but is bland."

"Good thing I got it again... cuz I forgot to write about it last round... It's good! (Frank got another Torture Scorcher)."

"(tangerine) Scorch varies from piece to piece."

"Still Grapey."

Round 07

"Lemony

- Ends blandly"

"First it's like a tiny tangerine in my mouth... Then it's like, really sour for a couple of seconds... Then it returns to a tangerine flavour."

"A nice little jujube, grapefruit rocks! Flavourful."

"My breath is already to dam fresh."

Round 08

"Raspberry

- This Time

- Very spicy right away stays spicy."

"Still rockin' and poppin'... Could do without the popping part."

"Didn't fizz much."

"Why god why?"

Round 09

"Lightly sour with orange hint."

"I swallowed it fast... and now my throat is tingly."

"Been there done that, but nice grape flavour."

"Of all the candies this was one I normally don't like and guess what? I still don't like them now."

Round 10

"Fruit Chew again

- doesn't know what favor it wants to be."

"It hits me like an elementary school memory... Something really synthetic about it besides being really sour... no real taste."

"A good but typical mint, cool."

"Too much mint and spray is making my eyes water, so cold."

Well I guess I have to admit my buddies are not wussy at all and I guess they can take some of the heat. You think you can take it, well maybe next year I'll try it again and you might even be a contestant, but you never know what I might pull out of my hat.

Candy Critic for a day